"it takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. but there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. there is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." 

-alan cohen

today was my final, full day at owairoa. wow. i was really pretty nervous heading into the day i wasn't sure what my emotions were going to be like. i tend to internalize my feelings sometimes but i was scared i would just be a wreck all day. luckily i held it together pretty well. not sure if i've mentioned it here before but friday morning tea is our big tea where one team brings a lot of food each week and we go over birthdays and fun things happening that week, its also when we do farewells obviously. so the teacher and student who are farewelling stand up and make a sort of speech. so sally went first and she held it together really well, a few close calls but all in all very impressed haha, and i only teared up a few times, i forced myself not to let it out. then i had to say something, gosh its totally overwhelming standing in front of a group of people who you have come to know and feel a part of and try to express what this experience has meant to me. it was like everything i wanted to say just disappeared, plus i felt like i was a shaky mess (but everyone said i wasn't and i sounded great, whew). basically i just said what i would say to anyone that asked me about my trip that the entire experience had been beyond words. i have felt so blessed to be at owairoa and with such an amazing teacher and amazing family, i honestly feel like i just have had the most perfect experience. i told everyone that i have been inspired by so many of them and i hope to be able to influence the school i am at with everything i have learned here. anyway, everyone was so proud of both of us for not breaking down haha.

during our middle block we just put out lots of scrapbooking paper, stickers, cut up shapes etc and let the kids make father's day cards. it was so fun because they had full creative control over what they were doing, it was the one of calmest activities we have done yet could have easily been the most chaotic with the amount of supplies we left for them to use. it was a nice way for me to just hang out with the kids, sit down and chat with them and be creative with them. they had such ownership over their cards and they were so proud of their work and so excited to share with the class. it was a small moment but such a special moment, its those little things and times when you see them really shining that make this job so amazing.

sally and i went and ate at a cute little cafe in howick for lunch. oh did i mention it was the most gorgeous day today! i mean just fabulous, could not have asked for better weather whatsoever. it was fun to be up in howick and nice for us to get out and relax and have a sandwich together. came back in time to hang out in the staff room for a little bit which i was happy for because it was just what i needed. some time with some great people just hanging out and laughing with the windows open and the wind blowing. again, its these things i am truly going to miss so much. we made a graph with lollies in the afternoon which was very exciting! then went for a walk around the school and through the bush walk which was fun. we didn't make it back with too much time left for goodbyes which i honestly think was a good thing. i shared my card with the kids and gave them their little gifts i had gotten them. i was sitting there telling them goodbye and how much i had loved being their teacher and that i would miss them etc and everything from the day just kind of welled up and i started crying. its really hard to cry in front of five year olds, i felt kind of dumb. but just explained to them that i would miss them. they were all sad which was so sweet to see, saying things like "maybe you can come back when i turn 6" or "thank you for coming to auckland" but what made me really cry was looking at sweet little shannon who really started crying. she just put her head in her lap and i had to tell her to come up and just hugged her for a long time. i wish i could explain her sweet little personality but i don't think you would fully understand unless you knew her, but it was another one of those things that just hit me kind of hard. seeing her upset like that just broke my heart and made leaving harder. i got a "cuddle" and a few kisses from the kids and said goodbye to all of the parents who have been so wonderful this whole time. i have always felt so appreciated and welcome in room 16 and at owairoa i could have not asked for a better school, really God was truly watching down over my placements.

that was my wonderful day. we headed back home with laura in tow, followed by sally her partner nathan and their two precious sons wiremu (3) and leo (1), as well as sue and emma and later kerry. just people that i have loved being with my entire time here. it was again, the perfect evening. we all hung out, the kids were running around. we spend some time outside, drank our bubbly and laughed. it was so fun to be with sally's family too. i didn't really say bye to sue and kerry because i'll see them wednesday and wasn't in the mood to cry haha, none of us were. when they left we all ate dinner and then out of nowhere sally pulled out a little box and a card for me. she started talking and couldn't really so sharleen took over. they had together gotten me my own greenstone! they said that they have loved having me and it was very special for me to get one of these etc. i don't think i've mentioned greenstones before but its a maori kind of spiritual necklace i would say. its a very kiwi thing to have and they are very sacred. each shape means something different, and most also have something to do with safe travels and safe journeys, they gave me the twist binding friendship and loyalty which i thought was just perfect. its pretty cool because you can't buy yourself your own greenstone it must me given to you, you can also get it blessed by someone who is maori. i learned a few new things about them tonight as well 1) you can wear it over your shirt or whatever but its really supposed to touch your  skin and be near the bottom of you neck 2) other people aren't supposed to touch your greenstone unless you offer it to them to touch. i felt so honored when they gave this to me, like i said it is a very kiwi thing i almost felt like i have the privilege of wearing it and will wear it proudly that is for sure. and how great that my twist is for friendship. i hope, and i must vow to myself, to stay in touch with all of these people who have become like family to me while i'm here (hey i heard tonight there's going to be a lot of year 1 classes next year due to the number of enrollments, and i'll probably be needing a job...). anyways more to come on my leaving soon. we're off to kawau tomorrow which is going to be the perfect last weekend to an amazing trip i cannot wait!! goodnight.

ps. happy almost football season!! can't believe i'll be missing the pack this weekend but thats ok i think i'll survive while i soak up the sun and ski in the bay.

how gorgeous are they?? i love these little ones so much!

so about the hair dying... i've always wished my hair was a beautiful chocolate brown cause its sorta that inbetween color. i like my hair so i was nervous to do anything to it because i've never dyed it. so a few weeks ago we went brown...

but that didn't really work because the natural blonde in my hair came through a lot and really lightened it up so i decided to go darker. welllll turns out it was darker than i think i had hoped for. the color is "bitter-sweet chocolate" which after first washing out looked black to me and i had a slight panic attack. but no its not, its a very dark brown which will start to fade and is growing on me. so we'll see. but i'm glad i took the plunge i've never done it before and why not try something different?

been awhile, stopping in to post about last week and my wonderful weekend! it was rainy the beginning of the week but cleared up for us on wednesday and we just had the most beautiful weather! its so nice because when you're in the sun during the day time its quite warm and feels like spring and its awesome. on thursday i got to go to the maori marae (or meeting house) that is in howick with the year4 students. it was a really cool experience and the kids all loved it. i also got to observe in a year5/6 class which was neat, very different from the little ones but a cool experience and they were great in their own way.

friday was another wonderful day. the weather at school was absolutely gorgeous! we had the doors and windows open and read stories outside and played on the playground in the afternoon. sunshine just puts you in a great mood! went to the pub for a drink after school for sam's last day. then build up some confidence and headed for spookers. we went by one of the guy's houses to play beer pong (the american game their student had taught them haha) and hang out before we went. it was fun to hang out with some of the teachers in a setting like that, felt more at home i guess haha. so spookers is located at an old insane asylum and its basically a really scary haunted house. if you know me well, you know that i hate anything scary really though everything seems to frighten me, so i was quite nervous. it was pretty scary but i walked with my hand out saying don't touch me the entire way so luckily no one grabbed me just jumped out and said scary things and got in my face. the people in the house were so realistic eww it was awful. then we did a trail through the forest which was scary as well, but i felt less trapped and i was in the front with a flashlight so i could see everything that would potentially pop out at me. quite an experience, but all in all a fun evening with a really fun group! oh and garth's (the guy's house we were at) wife has family in durham and her mom went to chapel hill, what a small world?? how cool is that!

woke up on saturday to another gorgeous day! walked outside to everyone hanging out with the grandparents on the deck next door. it felt like a spring morning at the beach, very relaxed and slightly chilly but you could still be in shorts. olivia and reagan were getting ready to go on a helicopter ride with one of their granddad's clients. how cool? so we got in the car and drove down to watch them take off and rode around running errands to get ready for the big party, Steven's 40th. i got to see the howick markets which was really cool, lots of handmade crafts and fresh fruits and veggies. it was a very pleasant day.

spent the rest of the afternoon getting our outfits prepared. i was a hippie (photo to come)... oh and i also spent the afternoon dying my hair (again). i'll add photos in another post... anyway i had to finish cutting my shirt, painting my face etc. i felt like it was a childhood halloween all over again everyone getting ready and hanging out in the kitchen helping each other out, feeling the excitement, the only thing missing was the candy. the 40th was awesome! it was in the coolest venue and there was a mechanical bull for the first part which was so much fun. i must admit i was not very good at it, but had a fun time watching everyone else. i had a little too much bubbly by the end of the night and didn't feel so hot on sunday but thats ok i had lots of fun. and had so much fun hanging out with sharleen's whole family, it was a great way to spend my last weekend that i'll be in howick (we're hitting the beach this weekend). sunday we got up and took the boats over to auckland city and walked around at the viaduct and waterfront and had a snack at a cute outdoor restaurant on the waterfront. gosh the waterfront it amazing. its just a long strip of cool restaurants with lots of outdoor seating. and they're building up fun little parks and using cool artwork and sculptures for seating etc. it was a wonderful way to spend a saturday, followed by a much needed nap and then dinner next door for steven's actual 40th.

so cheers to a great weekend here! can't believe i'm on my last full week. its insane, more to come on that as well!

some of the spookers crew. post haunted house, can't believe i'm smiling.

captain jack sparrow (pj) and i before the party.

 my parents away from home.

 sweet little lexi. cutest outfit ever! so presh.

 with whoopi and the sheriff (pam and john, sharleen's parents).

 riding the bull (don't worry i have on biker shorts).

 siblings/spouses, plus me.

 my family from the other side of the world.

 auckland city waterfront.

 opposite end of the waterfront, such a fun morning!

i forgot to mention that a few weeks i go i had the opportunity to sit in on the kapa haka practices, both the junior and senior groups. of course i was in heaven because i think they are awesome and everything they sing is so beautiful. the senior group sang a song last in their routine that was written by the lady who plays the guitar for them. its basically the children saying we are the children and you are the adults, and it is your responsibility to take care of us. she had it translated into maori and in the end they sing in english. well i just in tears the whole time, i mean it was so beautiful i couldn't help myself. i hope that emotion comes through in this video i took of them singing in english.

words/phrases i'm going to miss hearing:

aye - placed after most things said
mate
bloody
good on ya
can't be bothered
sweet as (cool as, dodgy as etc...)
grumpy
far out
gorgeous (to describe someone other than just looks)
heaps
nearly

more to come.